"Why?"
It was one word, a simple question, really, posed by my father.
The question is: why I am going to train for and run my second marathon?
I
don't think of myself as a particularly "natural" runner. I'm not
fast, I don't have a runner's body or strength. I
ran track for a couple of years in junior high school, but I was almost
always the slowest in my event. Ultimately I dropped out, because it
isn't particularly fun to lose over and over again. I "jogged" a couple
of times a week through my college years, but that was mostly because I
didn't want to gain weight. After a car accident my senior year, I
stopped running for many years. I've always been active, doing yoga,
walking, swimming, kayaking, dancing, doing aerobics, but I never really
had the desire to return to running.
Until a few years ago when my friend suggested I join a training group for an 8K.
Training
for and running a marathon, or really any race, is no picnic. Some days you will feel
great, other days you feel like even one more step is impossible. You
sweat and ache and push yourself--for what? For what?
I'm still not entirely sure. I
find myself wondering this every day when
I get up at 5 to go for a training run at 6 before work. On a
Saturday, when I have to do my long run and spend 2-3 hours, or more, on
the roads, sweating so much I am left with a salty residue on my face.
At various races, which I spend money and time.
After a lot of wondering about why I would ever train for another marathon, I have come up with the following: After
my training runs, despite being exhausted, even if the world around me
is crazy and despite my own problems and issues, I am able to find a bit
of peace. When I run races, I feel a part of something bigger than
myself. I can say that the day I ran the NYC Marathon is one of
the best days of my life. Running the marathon is one of my biggest
accomplishments, something I did not because I had to, but because I
wanted to.
I proved something--not to others, but to myself: I am
strong, and I can accomplish anything.